Bring Me Back To The Start: Rereads, resurge, reliving the memories.

Today, dear readers (if I have any left after how awful I've been with updating this blog), I am thinking about beginnings.

And, oddly enough, how they never quite lead to the ending that you suppose they will - which is just fine, for me, because the Kaye I am now is not the Kaye I thought I would be and she is definitely a far sight better than the Kaye I thought would be for many, many reasons, even if one of those reasons is sadly not a less dumpling face than the one I still have.

You can't win them all.

I was about to label this "Expectation" but...I didn't actually want to grow up and look like Tuxedo Mask.

Don't worry. This is not going super philosophical. I save my driest musings for my mother's ear right when she's engrossed in something particularly important, which I know she appreciates a lot. What I'm particularly thinking about today is circa sixteen or seventeen year old Kaye - and her favorite YA.

Summer used to be the time where my reading simply flourished. Even the slightest flush of warmth in the air brings back deeply evocative flashes of prickly grass under bare toes, sprawling out over the trampoline with a paperback in hand and an already melting popsicle dripping between my fingers.

(This was...obviously pre-university, because now the thought of all that luxurious free time and reading material selected by me, for me, is making my eyes water. Give me a minute.)

One of the titles that came to mind right away for me was Avalon High by Meg Cabot. Gosh, I loved that book. I remember listening to it on audiobook while washing the dishes, and getting all caught up in the idea of reincarnation and King Arthur coming back as a rather sweet high school jock and yeah, that could work actually - and then realizing suds were getting all over the floor.

Not one of my best moments.

I also read a lot of Shannon Hale. A lot. (But Shannon is boss, so I don't think you can blame me.) I really adored The Goose Girl, and still do. 

That was also the year of Maureen Johnson's 13 Little Blue Envelopes and a brief, brash fantasy of wandering all over London on a treasure hunt of my own. It's odd looking back and realizing that I was really rather taken with contemporaries back in the day, in spite of being a spec girl to the heart and hilt in regards to my writing. I think How to Say Goodbye in Robot was my favorite of that entire stage, and that's pretty weird to think about.

Oh, wait, scratch that. Howl's Moving Castle has always reigned no matter what else came into my life. What was I thinking.

In any case, I've been wondering if these titles that occasionally wander over my tongue when I've bitten into something deeply profound and nostalgic - today, it was a Jelly Belly green apple bean, so you can see what a poetic soul I have - really hold up, and if I'll actually ruin all those sun-lit, spark sharp feelings I did have in those immediate moments of reading them.

I guess this will be the summer to see.

In some ways, though I'm grateful for all that I've gone through and the ways it's made me who I am, I would like to go back to the start in terms of myself as a reader. I would like to take who I am now - the awareness of problematic representation, the hunger for different voices and experiences - and supplant that into the girl who devoured and didn't overthink, didn't compare, didn't worry that she couldn't live up to this legacy or these blurbs or this gorgeous cover design.

Sometimes, even when moving forward, it's good to remember what is worth keeping from your old selves. Not all of it can or should be cicada-shed off my shoulders, and I think just writing this post for myself reminded me of that.

Start again. Read again.

...Not necessarily sixteen again, though. Once was enough.

well, that happened: 2015.

Well. That happened.

What else is there to say about 2015? At the very beginning of this year, stepping out of the remains of 2014 - which, if you recall, was a hurricane masquerading as a year, was a parade of stepping into knee-deep puddles and scrapes and tatters and barely held together hearts - I could only pray that 2015 would be better, it would be kinder, it would be stronger, it would be the literal phoenix emerging from the ashes of pain and unnecessary unkindness the previous year had visited on us whether we liked it or not.

For 2015, I chose my word as thrive. I wanted to thrive, rather than merely survive.

And now, in the very last days of this year, looking back on all that has been said and done...

I won't miss it. It hasn't been kind to the world. It hasn't been kind to people I know and love. But perhaps I haven't dragged myself through it as much as I feel I have.

In any case, it is nearly over. This volume will be closed and I have fresh, bright hopes for 2016, in all its untouched, unmarred, bloodless promise. So let's look back on what was good from this year so that we can continue to move on, and grow, and thrive.

2015: Best of Reads.

Shadowshaper by Daniel Jose Older - want a book that gives you a hard-hitting dose of brown beauty, love for family and culture, a lesson on cultural appropriation and adventures dealing with the spirit world on top of all that? you need this. it's lingering and it's powerful.

Written in the Stars by Aisha Saeed - i am very, very biased, as aisha is my (adopted) baji and former wndb teammate, but it has thrilled me throughout 2015 to know that we have such a needed muslim voice on the shelves to look up to and admire and find hope in, particularly on such a difficult topic.

The Walls Around Us by Nova Ren Suma - the title that i actually started 2015 on, this has

A Thousand Nights by E.K. Johnston - reviewed here.
 
Uprooted by Naomi Novik - the book that knocked me out of a writing funk and into hopes that i can weave worlds as vivid and darkly fantastic. i read it all in one shot on the way home from bea 2015. (this is not ya, technically, but is close enough.)


One of the best parts of 2015 has been being able to read, period. And even the return of my appetite after a massive YA burn-out over the course of 2014 was challenged for most of the year due to school obligations and annotating, annotating, annotating. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually hard to narrow this list down to just five! 


 

2015: Best of (K)-Dramas.

Splish Splash Love - down on her luck high schooler falls into a puddle and meets a famous joseon king. love, love, love. if i haven't preached to you about why you should watch this yet, i obviously just haven't made it down my list. and it's only two episodes! two. episodes. you have no excuse.

I Remember You - this is the crime drama to beat, in my opinion, and was sadly one of the most underrated shows of this year. i have no idea why. it had it all: awesome chemistry, great writing and a serial killer that gave me the creeps.

Healer - have we talked enough about healer? i think we have. go forth into the mass of tributes, photosets and lamentations over the ending. i'll meet you back here next year.

Pinocchio - a reporter who cannot lie. a boy with a troubled past. this may be the drama that made me scream and throw my fists in the air the most this year, but looking back at that happy ending, i think it was worth it? maybe? (i may or may not have rage-quit at one point for a good month.)

D-Day - i am still watching this. the only excuse i can give for it being on this list is that it's a horribly realistic, heart-wrenchingly angsty depiction of how natural disaster can completely shatter life as you know it when you're not prepared for it. tense, gripping, and with several strong ladies that my sister and i are rooting for.

BONUS! Cheer Up! - i...am also still watching this, but it's only twelve episodes, it is everything a disney channel show wants to embody about the high school experience but often falls short on, and the entire cast is utterly lovable. what is there not to like? i do not know.


If it was hard to squeeze in reading time, I think my love for K-Dramas actually flourished over the course of this year. I chose to stick to the titles that actually released or aired this year (I'm cheating a bit with Healer and Pinocchio since they both finished airing this January) and struggled to leave off two series that I'm still watching while adding on another that I'm also still watching (D-Day).

This might have been the hardest category to settle on, actually.   

2015: Best of Music.

That's it.

This was my 2015.

It's seeped into all my references, inspired several of my resolutions for the New Year, has made me break down in tears several times in public places, compelled me to have a late-night listening session with several friends so that we could all break down in tears several times (thankfully in the sanctity of our own homes, and not public places) and rekindled the history nerd in me that I thought died a slow, painful death over the course of AP history classes.

It was everything. 

I wish I could have the memory and the patience to make one more category: Best of People.

Because, more than anything - more than the needed, sweet-sated feeling of escapist media and Lin-Manuel Miranda's powerful lyrics and music reassuring me that I should not throw away my shot - the people I've been blessed to discuss things with, receive reassurance from, be honored to know and aspire to be on the same, world-shifting level with, have made this year bearable.


I am so, so grateful, so, so thankful. We have lived through this year. We have consulted and created and countered together. We've made it through, and we have a fresh new page in front of us, and I know history has its eyes on all of us - and we're doing the best we can to give it something awesome to look at.

2016, here we come.

#ReadWomen: Why I Already Do It, And Why You Should, Too.

YA is not about the men.

This should be a given. Considering the wealth of hard-hitting authors I know - wielding gorgeous prose, poignant truths and a quick, apt response regardless of situation - who are ladies, considering just how many women are part of this industry and help to make it a better place every day, this should be something we already know, celebrate and consciously position in major news coverage.

(And in case you are not aware of the fact that this is not how things are going, in coverage or in which voices are continuously celebrated as certain members of the industry make overtures to double down on their personal prejudices and sexism...and which voices are perceived as "tearing down", "full of rage", and "unduly sensitive" - have a good, strong dose of my lady Kelly Jensen. 

You're welcome.)

So, here we are on the cusp of #ReadWomen: an awesome plan to radicalize the month of December by positioning women reads on your reading list and encouraging others to do the same. To tell the truth, this is something that I do already.

My reading diet is comprised of the women I admire and wish desperately I could write like, who stir up my sensibilities and lend wings to otherwise staid ideas and whims, who offer up words that melt on my tongue and warm my veins and give me hope when the rest of the world would have me think that, like the other contents of Pandora's box, it fluttered out of reach a long time ago.

There is nothing - nothing - like reading words from someone who understands how you feel, what you face, the days when you are raising your voice above your head like a trapped bird in your hands and searching for a safe place to loose it and let it unfurl.

And goodness knows I am tired of presenting a friend with the idea of reading YA literature, and having them say, excitedly, "I do read YA! I read John Green and Patrick Ness and Neil Gaiman." Goodness knows I am tired of having male portrayals of teenage girls unfolded and shaken out and presented to me, with a furrowed brow: "This seems a little skewed, but from what I hear, this is what YA has for us."

It is not. It has never been. And the men I mentioned are good at what they do - brilliant, even - but their works are a tasting platter and I've savored the courses these feature writers and list round-ups skirt about with their plates held high and their eyes averted.

Support the voices that know the snarled threads in your heart and want to help you loosen them, one strand of the teenage experience at a time. There are so many of them you may not know of. But they are waiting for you.

All of that said, the #ReadWomen challenge is not limited to young adult literature, and the hashtag on Twitter and Tumblr is bubbling over with suggestions and encouragement. One of my personal favorite lists so far is courtesy of my good friend Fatima, who made a point of adding in WoC authors that many may forget or overlook (remember the marginalized voices, who have farther to go and be heard when it comes to these brief moments of amplification), and is also making a point of reblogging other lists that undertake the same mission.

Another person to keep an eye on when it comes to educated, accurate recommendations with more than a pinch of diversity: Dahlia Adler, my absolute favorite book pusher and a great lady all around. 

I think Fatima has covered a lot of my favorites, but as we draw closer to December, I'll be tossing up a list of my favorites over this year and from farther back in the distant mists of my own adolescence (which, let's be honest, wasn't that long ago).

#ReadWomen. It's coming. Be ready. You have a whole month to devour and discover new favorites and broaden your horizons. Don't pass up that opportunity.

{in a breath.} McKissack, Jennifer: Sanctuary

short, sweet reviews in the span of an inhale.

September 25, 2015
Scholastic Press
YA Gothic/Supernatural, 306 pages

I received this book in exchange for an impartial, unbiased read and review for the Cybils Awards 2015. 

After the untimely death of her aunt, Cecilia Cross is forced to return to Sanctuary, a rambling, old mansion that crowns a remote island off the coast of Maine. Cecilia is both drawn to and repulsed by Sanctuary. The scent of the ocean intoxicates her, but she’s also haunted by the ghosts of her past—of her father and sister who died there, of her mother who was torn away from her and sent to an asylum, and of the vengeful spirit of a woman wronged. Flooding memories leave Cecilia shaken, desperate to run away and forget her terrible family history.

But then a mysterious guest arrives at Sanctuary: Eli Bauer, a professor sent to examine Sanctuary’s library. Cecilia is intrigued by this strange young man who seems so interested in her—even more interested in her than in the books he is meant to be studying. Who is he and what does he want? Can Cecilia possibly trust her growing feelings for him? And can he help her make peace a tragic past and a haunted present?

Luminous and evocative, Sanctuary is a remarkable exploration of love and loss—and the ghosts that come back to haunt us.

I have always loved the sea.

I stand at the edge of the shore, and wish that I could lift away the sea foam and let it curl and lap at my toes as my slippers. I want to wander deep into the salty waves, up to my neck, and let all the deep, hidden creatures wonder at my feet even as I crane my head downward to see them as they go by: wispy shadows and occasional will o' the wisp, luminescent flashes from way down below.

If there is anything that is better than actually wading in the sea, though, it is reading a book that gets that wistful and occasionally dark atmosphere. And if there is anything that Sanctuary excels at it, it is a wistful and a dark atmosphere - waves of it.

This is one of those titles where you wish you could have had it all, but also feel that you can be happy enough with what you've gotten: skeletons in the family closet, elegantly positioned historical references, and enough Gothic twists and turns that it made my ever-yearning heart near giddy with satisfaction.

The writing is occasionally awkward and I would have liked more show rather than tell (also, explanation for some of the ensemble characters' motivations), but the lingering sense of salt on my tongue and something hovering over my shoulder makes it all worth it.


Of note: Death. I don't think that should bother anyone, but death is almost a character in itself within this story. There are references to mental illnesses and asylums, along with the archaic manner of addressing the former at the time, and the horrific practices rife in the latter.

add sanctuary on goodreads

Settling Into the Season: Autumn 2015.

There's magic in the way the sunlight looks in Autumn.I wish I could bottle it up and dab it behind my ears and on my wrists during the winter.

I think this year makes me feel the most like Luna Lovegood, because if I could I would make a cardigan out of the treetops, a scarf from the skies, and a brooch from a crackling oak leaf, and go about everywhere feeling like there is something more to this season besides rediscovered aches and pains and chills and the sinking feeling that we are trampling out of the year just as firmly as we stepped into it.

This is as much a time for reveling in shedding leaves, lining your pockets with stray string and plucking out lint and forgotten candies, and the giddy joy of hot chocolate with whipped cream, as having existential crises, tallying off another umbrella casualty because of strong winds, and stepping into dismal, ankle-deep puddles when you aren't prepared to.

Disappointment and ruminations aside, though, October in particular has felt like a month of stories: buoyant, salt-tinged nostalgia for the summer, spine-tingling expectation building up toward the last week, and yes, whatever readings you are printing out or hurriedly yanking off the library shelves and stuffing into your backpack before dashing off in the general direction of your next class.

(Particularly re-reads. If there's anything I love more than an oversized sweater, it's a book that I've already hugged and know the shape of just as well as it knows me and is willing to reach out and squeeze back every single time.)

Because October is a month of stories, and no matter how much I have on my plate this semester, I am determined to revel in it with every rebellious, not at all on the syllabus title I can squeeze into it.

 

howl's moving castle by diana wynne jones (ya)*

 blood and salt by kim liggett (ya)

slasher boys and monster girls, edited by april tulcholke (ya)

p.s. i still love you by jenny han (ya)

dreamstrider by lindsay smith (ya)

strong poison by dorothy sayers (adult)*

night film by marisha pessl (adult)*

graceling by kristin cashore (ya)*

the village: achiara's secret (korean drama, currently airing)

kill me, heal me (korean drama)

hocus pocus (movie)*

over the garden wall (animated series)*

limetown (podcast, currently airing)

the black tapes podcast (podcast, currently airing)

* denotes that i've already seen/read this before
** i spared you the titles that are purely for school. you're welcome.

[sample sip.] Johnson, E.K.: A Thousand Nights

sample sip. is a tagline for the knee jerk, i can't wait until the release day thoughts i have right after finishing an arc. it is not a full or final review. nothing is full or final here. except for my patience with myself.

A Thousand Nights
Hitting Shelves: October 6, 2015
Disney*Hyperion

Lo-Melkhiin killed three hundred girls before he came to her village, looking for a wife. When she sees the dust cloud on the horizon, she knows he has arrived. She knows he will want the loveliest girl: her sister. She vows she will not let her be next.

And so she is taken in her sister's place, and she believes death will soon follow. Lo-Melkhiin's court is a dangerous palace filled with pretty things: intricate statues with wretched eyes, exquisite threads to weave the most beautiful garments. She sees everything as if for the last time.But the first sun rises and sets, and she is not dead. Night after night, Lo-Melkhiin comes to her and listens to the stories she tells, and day after day she is awoken by the sunrise. Exploring the palace, she begins to unlock years of fear that have tormented and silenced a kingdom. Lo-Melkhiin was not always a cruel ruler. Something went wrong.

Far away, in their village, her sister is mourning. Through her pain, she calls upon the desert winds, conjuring a subtle unseen magic, and something besides death stirs the air.

Back at the palace, the words she speaks to Lo-Melkhiin every night are given a strange life of their own. Little things, at first: a dress from home, a vision of her sister. With each tale she spins, her power grows. Soon she dreams of bigger, more terrible magic: power enough to save a king, if she can put an end to the rule of a monster.

 
Goodness.

The utter wealth of this book.

I am at a loss right now for the right words to string together – which is just as well, as I don’t trust myself right now not to spoil everything.

And that is a beautiful thing in itself. This is A Thousand Nights, after all: the timeless classic, the story of the girl who won back her life with carefully woven stories and well-placed cliffhangers. It might seem as though, after years of retelling and renditions, there’s nothing left to spoil.

But you haven’t read this particular story yet.

Here’s what I am allowing myself to tell you:

1. A Thousand Nights is gorgeous. I am not Middle Eastern, but I have shared a meal with Middle Eastern friends, and I could clearly picture the plates, the food, the meats and breads and the pinched morsels between oily fingers. I could smell the spices wafting off the pages, see the goat herds and the humble tents and the bright threads used in a bride’s wedding gown. The language is very carefully chosen and it paints a broad, vibrant world.

2. A Thousand Nights is not about the stories. It is about the woman who uses her wits, so brilliantly, to see the light of day. It is about the woman who forges alliances with those who are worried to let her into their hearts, because they are so aware of the fact that in the morning, she may be another forgotten name as their ruler sets out in quest of a new bride. It is about the woman who is wise, and determined – to set her world to rights, to be strong, and to see the next day with her own eyes.

3. A Thousand Nights is about the women. It is about the women who love devotedly, who sacrifice and lay siege and worship for the sake of each other. It is about sisters and sister-wives and mothers and daughters. It is about protecting young girls and learning at the knees of older women. If there is anything I will likely wax poetic about, beyond the language, it is the women of this world. It is the type of representation and love we should expect from every young adult novel, and exactly what we deserve.  

4. A Thousand Nights is not only woven brilliantly - it is woven with respect.  A world that is coded brown, and blatantly so, is full of characters who hold their agency firmly. They live, they marry, and they converse without a black cloud of potential stereotypes being unleashed over their heads. It’s unspoiled, because it’s done with care.

5. A Thousand Nights lingers even after you've turned the last page. For much of the reading experience, it may even seem like a quiet title. So much rests in the world-building and the relationships and little acts of magic that are steps forward to larger scenes and crucial defiance. And that is what firmly roots it into your mind. Every little moment is a marvel that leads to a grander denouement. 

If you listen long enough to the whispers, you will hear the truth.

Until then, I will tell you this: the world is made safe by a woman. 

E.K. Johnson has firmly settled herself into my list of favorite authors. I cannot wait to see what new stories she will spin, and I cannot wait for you to read this and be able to discuss it with me.

   
Full review (and gushing, and an inevitable discourse on why it's so important to write diversity right) to come. 

I would be remiss to end this without thanking my lovely friend Julie, who, when she heard I hadn't been able to snag one on the first day of BEA, finished her own copy and gave it to me. Thank you so much, Julie!
 

story begets story. [1] - jewel-toned: the genre.

(i feel the need to type in lowercase today. just roll with it.)

so, i formerly used to file any ruminations on my writing under "as i #amwriting." however, after quality time spent with creative luminaries and dear bookish friends such as miriam weinberg, i decided to rename the feature/series/what have you and segue into a more personal approach.

which is hard because...i'm me. and when we put the words personal and writing together, i feel the need to run for the hills or crawl beneath the bed or sit on top of my printed outlines and notes like a child wanting to hide that incriminating chocolate bar wrapper.

but i'm trying to work through that. so here we are.

so. the theory of "jewel-toned" as a genre is all thanks to activist and friend heather ure, who presented it in a conversation we were having the other day about sarah mccarry's recent interview with online teen girl magazine and fount of inspiration rookie.

(sarah mccarry is incredible. so is rookie. just putting that out there.)

see? my kind of people.

there are certain authors with works that i cannot help but refer to in the language of gemstones.

and, it should also be noted, they are all women because i'm here for women writers first and foremost and always and i'm not afraid to admit that i read stories about girls all the time and have little to no interest if a story involves a man's voice or a man's point of view or a man sorrowfully declining into middle age because the girl of his dreams couldn't take his continuous self-pity and attempts to deny her own agency.

i will add the caveat that i do know several male authors who have works coming out that might very well be deemed jewel-toned later on in and around the premises of this blog and i'll be very happy to promote them, too. but ladies first and always.

now, i've been a snarl of tangled, knotted creative inactivity this week. which is inexcusable. i'm out of school. no papers pending. i'm a summer child and the temperature is climbing and i've had ice cream today and frozen yogurt yesterday and worn my favorite set of flowery sandals. and yet, the magic is not happening.


and this, in a roundabout way, is actually why this is now story begets story.

it'd been so long since i could read something in my category (which, of course, is first and foremost ya and then fantasy and possibly magical realism) without it devolving into self-flagellation and the firm decision that i cannot, will not write anything as beautiful and thus, i should not write, and thus, i should instead devour my weight in chocolate and mope and act miserable, since, i am so therefore i write and not writing may well be the same as not drinking the right amount of water.

and then, while waiting in the line for these shallow graves with my dear miriam, she happened to notice the poster for uprooted by naomi novik.

"it's very much a kaye thing!" she said.

"you won't regret reading it!" she said.

and though i was quite sure that yes, i'd be entirely immobilized in terms of creativity for perhaps years afterwards because naomi novik is one of those luminaries you always hear about and tread about carefully for the sake of your own floundering aspirations - i believed miriam.

(as one always should.)

and i read it.

(as one always should.)

and thus, i remembered that to write stories, you do have to read them, too - even the bad ones, though uprooted certainly isn't bad by any means, and, if anything, was refreshing to read through as though it were a one-woman writing course i was taking, routing out plot twists and making note of foreshadowing and the magic system.

so, now that you've suffered through all that, back to the actual theme of this post.

which is, jewel-toned.

and yes, i think it does stand as a genre - if anything, perhaps a genre within certain genres. you probably know what i mean. have you ever read a work and felt that the author just knows the right way to handle words, how to string them together and bring tears to your eyes from the beauty, or perhaps sucker-punch you in the gut because of the world and humanity and goodness knows how uncomplicated this premise sounded until you actually opened the cover?

that. yes, that.

sarah mccarry's first two ya novels (of which, i'll confess, i've only read the first one) focuses on breathing fresh life into ancient greek myths. under the framework of a dead rock star's enduring empire and mother-daughter relationships, there's the familiar underwire of orpheus and eurydice. i mean, i went through an entire greek myth binge in like fifth grade so this shouldn't be entirely surprising, but it's not just the story line and the unique edgy flair.

it's the texture. (thank you, dear creative writing professor, for leaving that word firmly planted in my head.) it's the way the words just jangle or slide together or lead you downward like an elegant spiral staircase, one rung after another, because if the stairs themselves are lovely, elegant, velvet-encased marvels, what is waiting for you at the bottom?

indeed, jewel-toned, hued, encrusted marvels.

i think i must be a dragon at heart. because looking at these gems make my heart race. 

bonus points can and are always given for stories lovingly told about girls and women - from the hearts and hands of girls and women. there is nothing like being a teenage girl, sprawled out in the middle of a trampoline with a popsicle on one hand (yes, this image is autobiographical) and reading a story that celebrates you and girls like you and encourages you to keep on keeping on.

it can be an epic road trip novel (and as i'll write later on in the week or possibly next week, when i have a smorgasbord of summer reading posts planned, road trip novels are my kryptonite, right after feminist young adult anything). it can be a deep, dark fantasy.

but if the words are lush and lovely and the story rings true, i think it should qualify as jewel-toned.

like i already said, i don't think sarah's the only one who has a knack for this. like she herself says in that magnificent interview, "...i am one tiny strand on this huge gorgeous messy jewel-bedazzled web of girl genius."

note to self: take up cross-stitching this summer for real, so you can make that into a sampler or something.

anyway. jewel-toned. authors i already know and love. got it.

if you've familiar with this blog - with me, at all - you know how i feel about nova ren suma. imaginary girls gives you complicated sister dynamics and haunting magical realism. every time i talk about this title to someone, i have to admit that from the cover inward, it gives every sensation of being submerged underwater. today is incidentally its debut anniversary, which makes it all the more wonderful to mention it.

i didn't properly review it when it came out - which i ought to, as it gave me such complicated feelings - but also, nova's newest, the walls around us. a toxic friendship. murderous ballerinas. a dank prison. it's incredible and if it wasn't awesome enough being from nova's hands, it's also from the hands of the lovely people at algonquin, which might be my favorite young adult publisher.

along with macmillan.

and scholastic.


i feel sometimes that laura ruby and nova go hand in hand - perhaps because i love them both and they always have good things to say about each other and they are just both sweet, honest-to-goodness supportive people in general? but bone gap. bone. gap. it's another title that i received last year and was super excited for and didn't get around to reviewing...soooo i'll just have to indulge in a reread at some point this summer so i actually can.

laini taylor is another given, and it's funny because i used to read her stories just to lament the fact that i'd never, ever be able to write like her, while adoring her for being so entirely honest and sweet about her own struggles with anxiety and imposter syndrome and such. (if you haven't read her static writing advice blog, not for robots, take this as your reminder to do so now.)

but a few nights ago, i was re-reading spicy little curses such as these and besides being rather disillusioned with the colonialist-centric twist on indian culture and lore, i was relieved to realize that i could read it exactly as i read uprooted - enjoying the language and the structure, but not demonizing my own creativity.

(and, as a note, criticizing the world and the decisions made in spicy little curses does not mean that i am degrading or dragging laini as a whole. every time i've interacted with her, she's been very personable and kind. but, authors grow and so do readers and it's nice to realize that i can see that, even if it's subtle and likely drawn from research rather than personal viewpoints or beliefs, and know that i want brown girl, jewel-toned luminosity.

also, a general desire to write brown girl, jewel-toned luminosity.

more on the former in a few.)

this post would, of course, not be complete without reminding you that fantasy is and always will be my first love, and when we talk fantasy, we have to talk about victoria "queen of awesome" schwab. the near witch. the archived. vicious. she is one of those authors that only gets better with every new title and she's incredible and also delightful to talk to and i don't think you could regret reading her at all.

now, moving on to people i've heard write around this sort of theme or with that flair and i haven't read yet, or mean to read in the name of restoring my creative well. which are actually a lot of people, but before i get into it...i've been sitting here, wracking my mind, to think up diverse, jewel-toned young adult novels.

the first person who came to mind was jackie woodson, who is rightfully lauded for brown girl dreaming, which is most definitely on my reading list this summer but is actually considered a middle grade, i think? i've also heard good things about padma venkatraman and a time to dance.

to me, when i think brown girl, i think the jewel-toned genre. not in the name of isolation or barring anyone, because every girl needs to be applauded and loved and emphasized with. perhaps it is more recently amplified because of my wondrous friend shveta thakrar, who i fully expect and anticipate to be gracing shelves as the desi answer to holly black very soon (note: holly is another edgy, luminous author whose works i've only dipped my toe into, but i do have the darkest part of the forest sitting here, so more on her very soon).

shveta takes the theory of jewel-toned in language and legacy so very much to heart. i read her poetry and her short stories and i feel that brown girls have beautiful faces, warm hearts, bravery down to our marrow. i feel we can stand head-to-head with any other heroine in any other fantasy. 

without breaking down into a discussion of just how and why diversity and representation matter, to me, shveta just exemplifies the "genre" and what it means to me and what it does to me when i read it.

i'm also thinking of pointe by brandy colbert and the little i read of that (and must return to), and alaya dawn johnson's love is the drug that i snagged last bea and unfortunately misplaced but am determined to find and take up properly.

in terms of poc men authors, i'm very, very excited for daniel jose older's shadowshaper, which features a heroine and a gorgeous cover. i should have an arc of that winging its way to me, courtesy of the already mentioned and praised and still utterly wonderful miriam weinberg, so more on that soon-ish. 

i am still trying to think of others, but let's just continue with this already ridiculously long-winded post with what we've got.

i've heard very good things, for years and years, about francesca lia block. i've only just picked up my first by her, love in the time of global warming (that title. that cover. and, as an added bonus, more greek mythology renditions!) and will taste test for myself, while keeping in mind what my dear friend debbie reese has analyzed about native american representation in her books, particularly weetzie bat.

nova has also always had good things to say about kat rosenfield. i've got my eye on inland, in particular. (i must be some sort of water baby. those blue-hued covers just get to me.)

speaking of people whose recommendations i always, always, always trust, my lady kelly jensen has had good things to say about the spaces between trees, the in-between and without tess for those dreamy, discordant imaginary girls feels.

honestly, i have a whole list of titles and a pocketful of crumpled library lists and i'm sure my cup runneth over in terms of recommendations and a selection to feast upon over this season. and it's wonderful. i'm glad that i can write a long post like this dedicated to books that i feel have always warmed and inspired me from the inside out. i'm glad to be looking forward and seeking out more like them.

and even if i still can't seem to settle down to write, i'm glad that these books give me hope that i can.

now. do you think "jewel-toned" as a genre - or even just a theme - makes sense? do you think it might just be an offshoot of that particular feeling you get from an incredibly woven magical realism? (which, as you can probably tell, is another of my particular kryptonites.) what authors or titles fit in this atmosphere for you?

and, most importantly, any recommendations you're willing to share? (spill, spill, spill! particularly if it's magical realism. or horror. or both.)

a side note: if you know me and i know you and i haven't mentioned your wonderful writing or your wonderful self, it is totally okay to remind me of your existence in the comments. really.

(and just this side note reminded me of another person whose stories have heart and beauty: claire legrand. middle grade. young adult. yes, yes, yes.)

okay. i'm done. 

Road Trip Wednesday! - From YA to Movie

This week's topic: Which YA novel would you most like to see turned into a movie?

Oh, boy, oh, boy. So usually I just message back in response to Road Trip Wednesday (hosted, of course, by the lovely ladies at YA Highway, if you are not in the know) but this was a question that set up such a spark in me that I had to write a blog post.

So. The prompt says movie, but why stop at just one? This seems to be the start of a Golden Era of movies based on YA books - why not make the most of it?

And of course, with all the buzz right now around #WeNeedDiverseBooks - and always, diverse and well-done film - I couldn't help but put my own twist on this: the diverse YA novels I'd love to see turned into movies!

The caveat: I went for a few titles that aren't out yet. Who knows, maybe this might get some minds going on possibly optioning them, yes? 

 

Dualed by Elsie Chapman

The scoop:

In the city of Kersh, everyone must eliminate their genetic Alternate twin, raised by another family, before their twentieth birthday. West Grayer, 15, has trained as a fighter, and has one month to hunt and kill her Alt. A tragic misstep shakes her confidence. Guilty, grieving, she feels unworthy, and runs from her Alt and from love - both can destroy her.

Why take this to Hollywood?

Elsie is no stranger to this blog by now. You guys must know much I adore her and her writing, and if you haven't read Dualed - just look at that summary. The book itself is heart-pounding, tense and with plenty of moments where you want to throw it across the room, screaming, "If West dies, I'll never forgive you!"

...Ahem. Not that I have experience with tossing books or anything.

In any case, with the buzz still holding strong around dystopians - The Hunger Games, Divergent and now The Maze Runner coming up in theaters soon - this would fit in perfectly and have a good deal of hooked fans. 

Origin by Jessica Khoury

The scoop:

Pia has grown up in a secret laboratory hidden deep in the Amazon rain forest. She was raised by a team of scientists who have created her to be the start of a new immortal race. But on the night of her seventeenth birthday, Pia discovers a hole in the electric fence that surrounds her sterile home―and sneaks outside the compound for the first time in her life.

Free in the jungle, Pia meets Eio, a boy from a nearby village. Together, they embark on a race against time to discover the truth about Pia's origin―a truth with deadly consequences that will change their lives forever.

Why take this to Hollywood?

You probably remember my review on Origin from the last time I went to BEA. If not, my three buzz words for it were as follows:

Overpowering.

Lush.

Green.

With a heroine who has her own agency and a muddled past, and such a gorgeous backdrop to explore, what more could viewers want? And there's a jaguar, okay?

A jaguar.

(Not the car.)

An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

The scoop:

Laia, 17, is a coward and so far, it’s kept her alive. As a Scholar living under the brutal rule of the Martial Empire, Laia knows that courage will only get her killed. Then the Martials imprison Laia’s brother for treason. To save him from execution, Laia must step out of the shadows and embark on a quest that will take her from the haunted catacombs of her city to the halls of Blackcliff Academy, where the Empire trains its most feared soldiers. She must find the courage to defy everything the Martials stand for in a place where defiance has one outcome: death.

Elias, 20, is Blackcliff’s finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Sickened by the prospect of hunting and killing Scholars who oppose the Empire, Elias decides to desert the military. But before he can run, he’s ordered to participate in the Trials, a ruthless contest to choose the next Martial emperor. Elias must wage war in the Trials with skill and ferocity while struggling with a deep inner ambivalence. For while losing the Trials might cost him his life, winning them could cost him his soul.

When Laia and Elias’s paths cross at Blackcliff, they find that their destinies are more intertwined than either could have imagined and that their choices will change the future of the Empire itself.

Why take this to Hollywood?

Okay, so I'm cheating slightly with this one, because it's not coming out until 2015 and it's been optioned, but maybe this will be incentive to get both the book AND the film out and in my grabby little hands sooner than later, right?

(Sabaa, when you have ARCs, you know where to find me. I'm just saying.)

Anyway, haunted catacombs? Scholars? Trials? A brilliant Muslim author?

Does any of that sound like you can't toss it together and get an epic, Oscar-winning movie?

Nope. Nope, it doesn't.

Gates of Thread and Stone by Lori M. Lee

The scoop:

In a city of walls and secrets, where only one man is supposed to possess magic, seventeen-year-old Kai struggles to keep hidden her own secret—she can manipulate the threads of time. When Kai was eight, she was found by Reev on the riverbank, and her “brother” has taken care of her ever since. Kai doesn’t know where her ability comes from—or where she came from. All that matters is that she and Reev stay together, and maybe one day move out of the freight container they call home, away from the metal walls of the Labyrinth. Kai’s only friend is Avan, the shopkeeper’s son with the scandalous reputation that both frightens and intrigues her.

Then Reev disappears. When keeping silent and safe means losing him forever, Kai vows to do whatever it takes to find him. She will leave the only home she’s ever known and risk getting caught up in a revolution centuries in the making. But to save Reev, Kai must unravel the threads of her past and face shocking truths about her brother, her friendship with Avan, and her unique power.

Why take this to Hollywood?

Yet another one that isn't out and isn't in my life yet. But just take a gander at that cover. Just look at it.

Okay. My longing aside.

There's time travel involved. There's a labyrinth involved. There's TIME TRAVEL involved.

(Note that as I get more excited, I get less coherent. Take this as a warning that if gorgeous, exciting titles are dangled before my nose months ahead of the release date, I can unravel fast. And it's not pretty.)


Of Metal and Wishes by Sarah Fine

The scoop:

There are whispers of a ghost in the slaughterhouse where sixteen-year-old Wen assists her father in his medical clinic—a ghost who grants wishes to those who need them most. When one of the Noor, men hired as cheap factory labor, humiliates Wen, she makes an impulsive wish of her own, and the Ghost grants it. Brutally.

Guilt-ridden, Wen befriends the Noor, including their outspoken leader, a young man named Melik. At the same time, she is lured by the mystery of the Ghost and learns he has been watching her … for a very long time.

As deadly accidents fuel tensions within the factory, Wen must confront her growing feelings for Melik, who is enraged at the sadistic factory bosses and the prejudice faced by his people at the hand of Wen’s, and her need to appease the Ghost, who is determined to protect her against any threat—real or imagined. She must decide whom she can trust, because as her heart is torn, the factory is exploding around her … and she might go down with it

Why take this to Hollywood?

It's a Phantom of the Opera retelling, with a diverse cast and an actual ghost that isn't afraid of getting its hands dirty. I fail to see how this wouldn't be a good thing to play out on the big screen.

Legend by Marie Lu

The scoop:

What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem.

From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths - until the day June's brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family's survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias's death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets.

Why take this to Hollywood?

Do you like Les Mis? Good. This is the loosely based, dystopian version. With a lot of high-paced action. And a girl prodigy who doesn't pretend she isn't an awesome genius. 

 

The Fire Wish by Amber Lough

The scoop:

A jinni. A princess. And the wish that changes everything. . . .

Najwa is a jinni, training to be a spy in the war against the humans. Zayele is a human on her way to marry a prince of Baghdad—which she’ll do anything to avoid. So she captures Najwa and makes a wish. With a rush of smoke and fire, they fall apart and re-form—as each other. A jinni and a human, trading lives. Both girls must play their parts among enemies who would kill them if the deception were ever discovered—enemies including the young men Najwa and Zayele are just discovering they might love.

Why take this to Hollywood?

It's so well-researched. I know Amber is going to get tired of me telling her this (and I haven't even gotten around to my review yet!), but I am proud of her efforts for Muslim representation and the beautiful, evocative world she created. We need good Muslim fantasies, and those good Muslim fantasies should become good Muslim movies, right? 

Magic Under Glass by Jaclyn Dolamore

The scoop: 

Nimira is a music-hall performer forced to dance for pennies. When wealthy sorcerer Hollin Parry hires her to do a special act - singing accompaniment to an exquisite piano-playing automaton, Nimira believes it is the start of a new life. In Parry's world, however, buried secrets stir. 

Unsettling below-stairs rumours abound about ghosts, a mad woman roaming the halls, and of Parry's involvement in a gang of ruthless sorcerers who torture fairies for sport. When Nimira discovers the spirit of a dashing young fairy gentleman is trapped inside the automaton's stiff limbs, waiting for someone to break the curse and set him free, the two fall in love. But it is a love set against a dreadful race against time to save the entire fairy realm, which is in mortal peril.

Why take this to Hollywood?

As I've stated before, I'm very fond of Jackie and her stories that always feel reminiscent of the classic fantasies I loved as a kid. Nimira is a wonderful, brave heroine, and our fairy gentleman inside the automaton is charming and heartwarming in his own way. This would be gorgeous as an animated film, I think. 

The Walled City by Ryan Graudin

The scoop: 

There are three rules in the Walled City: Run fast. Trust no one. Always carry your knife. Right now, my life depends completely on the first. Run, run, run.

Jin, Mei Yee, and Dai all live in the Walled City, a lawless labyrinth run by crime lords and overrun by street gangs. Teens there run drugs or work —or, like Jin, hide under the radar. But when Dai offers Jin a chance to find her lost sister, Mei Yee, she begins a breathtaking race against the clock to escape the Walled City itself.

Why take this to Hollywood?

This is topping many people's BEA grab lists (including mine, but more on that in another post).  Take a gander at that summary - and that cover! - and you can probably see why.

Labyrinths seem to be back in the game this year, and this is a particularly enticing rendition that sounds like it would be awesome rendered in CGI - all the sudden, heart-pounding turns, the street gang fights...

What YA novels do you think would make epic movies?

{blog tour} LIV, FOREVER: An Interview With Amy Talkington

It has been a while...but I am excited to announce Watercolor Moods' first blog tour stop for the year, for the much-buzzed about Liv, Forever by Amy Talkington. Disclaimer: I still haven't gotten the chance to properly delve into my review copy, but the promise of a spooky, atmospheric mystery is one that I probably won't be able to resist for much longer!

Thanks to the lovely Meredith Barnes at Soho Teen, I was able to have Amy answer a few questions for the blog. In addition, if you click on that little banner up there, you'll be able to see the USA Today reveal of Amy's trailer!

Enjoy!
  

How were you inspired for the idea of Liv, Forever?

The idea came from a bunch of things piling up in my brain at once. 

First, I just had this character I wanted to write: Liv. 

Secondly, I’ve been interested in ghosts for a long time so... I started to think about what kind of a ghost story Liv might be a part of. I got really excited about the metaphors a ghost story affords—the idea that she had to die in order to fully learn to live (and love). 

And, finally, when I was thinking about all this, the Occupy movement was happening and I was really struck by the great divide in our country—between the 99% and the 1%. I wanted to tap into that. I don’t want to give it away but I can say that divide—and the feeling so many people have that the 1% would do almost anything to stay on top—comes to play in the school’s mythology and conspiracy. 
  
Which character, if any, do you feel closest to?

Liv. Like Liv, I had some attitude and bravado when I was in high school but when it came down to it I was pretty terrified to be emotionally vulnerable. So, I wrote from a really honest emotional place. And, I was also an artist and just pretty obsessed with art like she is. 

Were there any bizarre areas of research or strange occurrences that you experienced while writing this story?

Well, there were some crazy coincidences that helped me piece the final mystery together but it’s hard to talk about them without giving things away. So, let’s see if I can handle this in a cryptic way. Basically, I’d never even heard of the Celtic Samhain tradition when I started writing the book. I stumbled upon it as I was trying to flesh out Elijah’s interests and it was just so insanely perfect in every way right down to the time of year it was practiced.

On a completely different note, I found an interesting document AFTER I finished the book. When I was looking for old photos from Choate (for a visual presentation), I came across a chart I’d made early in college called “How I Think.” The chart detailed my interests and obsessions and attempted to show how they are all connected. I was shocked to discover how much I was into the stuff Liv is into… Keats, Duchamp, Pollock, Warhol, etc… They’re all there. Of course I knew I was into art but I’d completely forgotten how into Keats I was. But, of course. That’s why I gravitated back to him.

Is there another idea you will be pursuing after Liv, Forever releases?


Oh, boy. I’m pursuing so many ideas all the time. By day I’m a screenwriter so I have a bunch of projects in various phases of development. I’m currently developing Liv, Forever into a feature screenplay. I’m also working on one other feature script and two television projects. Book-wise, I’m trying to figure out what’s next. I have a very clear idea of a next book for Liv but I’m just waiting to see if there’s an appetite for it. 

Were there any particular places or background that inspired Liv, Forever?

I did go to boarding school. I went to Choate Rosemary Hall in Connecticut. Choate is nothing like Wickham Hall. The only similarity is the Art Center. I definitely had Choate’s amazing Art Center in mind as I wrote those scenes. 

That was a very important place to me—I created so much there, I had my first solo show there, I sold my first paintings there—and so I loved giving Liv a similar setting to make her art. But, otherwise, it’s all completely fabricated. There are no secret societies at Choate (as far as I know!).
 
What do you want to particularly linger with readers? What do you think about Liv's story will particularly resonate - in spite of the paranormal elements that teenagers (rarely, if ever) will experience?

To me, the story is about learning to love. That’s really Liv’s journey—learning to love herself, her art, and others.  

Amy Talkington is an award-winning screenwriter and director living in Los Angeles. Before all that she wrote about music for magazines like Spin, Ray Gun, Interview, and Seventeen (mostly just as a way to get to hang out with rock stars). As a teenager in Dallas, Texas, Amy painted lots of angsty self-portraits, listened to The Velvet Underground and was difficult enough that her parents finally let her go to boarding school on the East Coast. Liv, Forever is her first novel. 

  Amy's Tumblr | Amy on Twitter | Add Liv, Forever on GoodReads | Liv, Forever at Soho Teen